Leaving The World Without Any Traces

Leaving The World Today

2009-01-05T13:50:00.003+08:00

im back after more den 1 month... since so many ppl miss mi... i should post ba... haha... working for the past few weeks but money dun noe go where... haiz... nvm la... today off... dun noe tml working or nt... haiz... so boring sia... juz now help my bro to move his stuff to his new place... den ltr maybe at night i going out with him and fat ma ma... or else i will be damn damn sian... haiz... im fucking bored sia... school reopen le... everyone busy at school and i will be busy at work le... wahaha... but confirm nt everyday work de... so wad should i do when im nt working... haiz... anyone wants to watch movie (ong bak 2) with mi??? my headache is back le... haiz... i hate it... wonder wad if there's blood clot in my head??? haiz... die die lo... doesnt really matters anyway... wahaha... shall stop here... will post when i haf the time... i dun noe did i dreamt of joscelin this morning or nt... but it look so real... omg... but i noe it wont haf the chance to even dream of her le.... i also dun care... cause im leaving the world without people knowing... so evil of mi... wahaha...

Busy

2008-11-29T00:46:00.005+08:00

hello... im back.... very busy for days... so tiring... but nvm la... dun noe wad happen to mi this few days... always keep lyk vomit... cough a lot... haiz... went to see her blog den realise that a lot ppl go scold her... my heart feel very hurt... it's nt her fault why scold her... this relationship cant blame anyone... haiz... she was forced to break up with mi... this one cant help de... haiz.. i juz wan to beg you ppl.. dun go and scold her le la... please... if you wan... i can kneel down to beg you ppl... i shouldnt haf say that she did nth... i really dun noe tt she did so much... and yet i shouted at her... wad is wrong with mi... haiz... i noe im busy... so busy to even blog or see ppl blog... haiz.. nvm... skipped.. driving lessons... attend 3 lesson... today went on road... instructor say i too gd le... den ask mi drive to clementi... lol... drive very fast lo... 80 km per hour... lol... but haf to slow down... haiz... skipped... this few days always go expo find guan ping... den go walk walk... looking for book which will cure illness... saw a few but no money to buy... im broke already... haiz... suddenly haf to support 2 ppl for their meals... haiz.. so used up my pay le lo... haiz... i will make sure they treat mi when they got their pay... sry for nt blogging well... i dun really haf the mood...

Life suck

2008-11-21T20:50:00.003+08:00

can my life get worse den this??? so many troubles... all the stupid friends i had... i borrow money keep chasing mi for money... when they nid money... chasing mi to get money... WTH... nvm.... my bro.. this sun kena chase out of house le... how... finding unit for him.... overnight yesterday after class outing at sentosa... after outing... meet guan ping at my house.. den go guan ping house.. play with his cousin... den guan ping suddenly eat fire lo... go slap the cousin... aiyo... kids ma... sure noisy de ma.... haiz... kena sun burn again... fuck la... nvr tan my back also kena burn... tan front face kena burn... haiz... why bad thing are happening to mi one by one.... argh.. i hate this... to all those ppl who i owe... will return ASAP... but please la... i haf to work and spend it for myself right... and for those who owe mi money... im nt going to chase after you guys for money... take your time to return... i nt like ppl who is so fucking heartless who only think of themselves... especially P____!!!!

Tiring day

2008-11-17T14:39:00.000+08:00

yesterday night there a 117 pax of Turkish friendship dinner... den im the food runner for banquet... i requested that i dun wan be bistro runner den stupid boss so put mi banquet runner... still can say i do banquet runner cause i haf more skills... lol... tired lyk hell... 117 pax leh... western somemore... argh... hand totally going to break le lo... run here and there... argh... 4 course somemore... when out the main course... my hand no strength liao den still haf dessert sia... den bistro finish work le so i call help lo... but i also do la.. half way through gt feeling that the tray wan to drop... walk damn damn fast till function room saw them ask mi faster help mi to take the tray... lucky nvr drop.... yesterday function room suddenly also haf a lot stuff when the belly dance start... aiyo... tray very heavy le still block my way... argh... wan to kill them lo... the dancer also nt nice la... still fat fat de lo... haiz... after the event finish... still haf to turnover for the next day function... argh... no strength le still haf to bring out the stage and round table... haiz... do half way... those who stay woodlands de all change le... waiting for mi... lol... den boss ask mi faster go change and go take cab with them... lol... no one tell mi and i still happy happy working lo... gt in cab... sleep till timah plaza there... reach home only... no one at home.. gt shocked... call my mum ask them where are they... they at orchard... lol.... midnight go see xmas lighting...

back

2008-11-14T13:48:00.003+08:00

wahaha... im back... very fan this few days go close blog for a while... wont be posting so often le... take care.. will post when im free...

Ten Brothers

2008-11-12T01:29:00.002+08:00

i finally finish watching ten brothers after 3 days of midnight... lao da and xiao lan one couple... lao san and tong tong one couple... as ten brothers are nt human... they cant be with xiao lan and tong tong... lao da dun wan xiao lan to get hurt that why he force himself to leave her... they go through a lot and they leave their parents... da xia like jiao er and they had go through a lot... although da xia scare that he will get reject de... but he continue to take care of jiao er.. love her... be with her for her every needs... is so touching la... i cry till my pillow got all wet... the two couple lyk one another but they cant be together... as they are from different world... i watch till i bring in my feeling lo... i cry a lot... because of my relationship... actually can be together but cant... haiz... dun noe how to say... maybe it my fault ba... haiz... but i juz think that no point hiding from her wad... so juz say out the truth lo... but end up.... haiz... nvm la... maybe im nt a gd bf ba... all i can do is wish her all the best... hope that she will find a much better guy den mi... willing to listen to her talk to her... dun end up lyk mi... talk till nth to talk... haiz.... anyway... im finding jobs... any one haf any jobs to offer please tell mi... anywhere i also dun care... muz haf free timing for mi to choose... cause if NUSS dun wan mi to work.. i will go there work... hours muz be long... pay rate above 5 per hour... thank you... if i can... i also wan to work midnight... so that i 24/7 working... hoping nt to think a lot... haiz... but will catch movie de... haha... but with who... haha... answer is... ALONE... wahaha... once a loner always a loner... haha... I HATE MYSELF... IF I CANT LOVE MYSELF... HOW CAN I EXPECT PPL TO LOVE MI... I DUN DESERVE PPL LOVE... NT AT ALL... i shall stop here and emo le... cant stop crying... juz now outside emo... mind totally blank... now at home emo... everything run through my mind... haiz...

Heart Pain Like Hell

2008-11-08T06:14:00.006+08:00

back again... im here to do a survey... wad is more painful den heart pain... please tag mi with the answer... thanks you... haiz.. reach home only... go bath and online.. saw her offline msg... and her email... and heart totally very very hurtful.... like as if it had no more strength to beat anymore... haiz... if i had a choice i also dun wan to work today... but i had no choice... haiz... i did msg you when im out with my friends... although you waited so long for the msg... but i did bother to msg you... haiz... i already feel very hurtful when i noe the this friends of mine is going to leave mi le... juz because of MIC... haiz... nvm la... i did lose everything i had... when i gain one thing... i will lost a lot of things... haiz... but who care.... i also dun wan people to change because of mi... from the beginning i told you le... dun nid to change because of mi... haiz... nvm le la.. as you said... nt important anymore... haiz... and as i say... if you leaving mi will make you happier... i will let you go but of course i dun wan la... but styauing with mi will make you more sad and worry... haiz... until today... den i noe that NUSS suntec is a stupid place to had relationship la... guy haf wife and children and girl haf husband or boyfriend... but they can go out with another person in NUSS... haiz... stupid thougths they had... haiz.. and my bro is one of them... and i totally speechless or in fact... im also speechless... haiz... argh... i dun noe wad to type le.. cause now heart very pain... but nvm la... only readers of this blog will noe and i noe... i also dun care le la... nt anymore... i will try to be strong which i always failed... haiz... how la... something to think before i made my decision... should i put dun or do??? please tag mi for ur answer... that's for all... bye... and take care...

At Work On Saturday

2008-11-08T05:52:00.004+08:00

hello... im back in the late night... and i haf yet to sleep... juz reach home... actually come home le den go out walk walk till now... about sat... wake up early in the morning... get ready and rush off to work... msg jiaxin... suddenly i haf the feeling that something is wrong somewhere... but nvm la... took bus to suntec... reach suntec... she called... and i had cough... she ask mi why i sick still go work... haiz... do i haf a choice... i dun haf... how i noe i will sick this week when i give my timing to boss last week... haiz... if i cant work... i had to find replacement... and where the hell i go look for replacement... haiz... every friends of mine will want to work with mi around... haiz... so she hang up and msg mi something... which make mi mood out the whole day even now... heart was totally hurtful than ever before... cause i noe that this time round it will be true... haiz... get change and when to canteen... saw the food and make mi wan to puke when the food look nice.... haiz... den go staircase sit and emo... emo till cry... den go work... Owen was wearing the walkie talkie... so i juz bring out the food lor... den work half way... go chiller take thing... den chef Steve was inside... den he ask mi why i look so down today.. den i say im sick.. den he ask mi gt gf or nt... den i say haf... but something happen... den he say ok... den i continue to work... den gt burn by soup... right palm was damn damn hurtful but wad else can be more hurtful den heart pain... den half way at around 2... i told Owen i go staircase rest for awhile but actually i went there to cry cause i cant tahan le... den finish work at 3... gt briefing by Alan(boss) den he talk about dec promo... promo: yuletide... 3 course cost $25 and 4 course cost $28... but this month promo is 3 course cost $22 and 4 course cost $26... den on the 15 nov... there is 120 pax wedding dinner... food runner will be mi... can die sia... haiz... den 16 nov... 120 pax western set course... also can die... haiz... den 23 nov... wedding again... dun noe how many pax... and it cost $888 per table sia... WOW... a lot sia... chef William and Alan will be inside the kitchen preparing the food... haha... move on... after briefing... i go down buy drink for my bro... den come up.. listen to her baby and his story... haiz... same old thing... haiz... i had the problem and yet i haf to listen yours... WTH... haiz... den i cried in front of him la.. den he ask mi wad happen den carol come take thing and she also ask mi wad happen... and all i can say is nth... OMG Darius... wad is wrong with you... den go canteen... see the food which make mi feel lyk puking again so nvr eat lor... den go staircase cry again... haiz... cry from 4 to 6.. powerful right... tap water free flow de... haiz... heart seriously hurts till i feel lyk taking any knife to cut it open... haiz... den work with unstable feeling... haiz.. den always do wrong things... bring out food also wrong station... haiz... after tt... finish work at 11... get change and cab back to BP... den meet guan ping at plaza and we go walk walk... he accompany mi home and took the chemistry book and we go walk walk again... walk till now den come home...

Nth to do

2008-11-06T17:21:00.002+08:00

la la la... so boring... wake up at 1 plus plus... due to yesterday work till backache... walao.. this week illness a lot sia... first fever, second headache, third voice change, fourth flu, fifth heartache and many many more... haiz... nvm la... so people out there... dun worry wor... haha... i will be fine de... haha... eventhough i haf no mood to do things... but no choice but haf to accompany my darling to kent ridge(nuss) eventhough im nt feeling well... after today no time to go out with him le... haiz... will be damn busy working already... haha... yesterday after work.. i told my boss that i will be working almost everyday le... den will be watching movie with jiaxin some of the day... so during my working months... i wont be blogging often as i will staying at office due to working till late night till around 1am... haha... hope i will be ok ltr ba... take care to everyone out there... jiaxin... i love you and will always do...

Bad Day

2008-11-02T10:46:00.004+08:00

Argh... having terrible headache and terrible heartache... haiz... shall nt talk about it... argh... all i wan now is sleep... I WAN TO SLEEP I WAN TO SLEEP I WAN TO SLEEP... haiz... morning heard a doorbell... thought gt wad surprise... end up salesman... early in the morning press wad doorbell la... you dun wan to sleep i wan to sleep de leh... although i woke up at 7 again... will nt post today... will nt online today... so everyone out there... take care of yourself... dun fall sick... good luck to whoever is taking o lvl SS paper tml... bye...

First Anniversary

2008-11-01T21:06:00.004+08:00

back blogging again... shall start from yesterday... finally went back to work... was damn happy la that i finally can work service le... haha... thanks yi feng for taking over mi... haha... but end up nid my help also with the jackpot food... lol... working service is fun but no longer as fun as it should be as my darling left le... haiz... i really hate him calling mi juz to complain to mi about his MIC (made in china) haiz... nvm... shall continue with today... woke up at 7 dun noe for fuck... haiz... den wait for show... finish le... rush down to JP buy movie ticket... den rush home... and something happen... dun wish to say... or else very pek cek... den rush home... bath den eat den rush out le.... meet jiaxin at interchange at 1 den i reach interchange... i saw aida... she say hi to mi... lol... first time ever... haha... den board the bus to JP... den reach there.. meet up with her friends... den i go buy food... hot dog and ILT... haha... den go in... she like children sia... dark den cant see... aiyo... kid are kid... haha... den after movie... her friends go off le den we go walk walk... talk talk... end up at KFC... dun noe wad happen today... everywhere also haf long queue... haiz... den queue... was looking at the menu and when it was my turn... i look at the service crew... i thought i saw amelea... but it was nt... haha... forget her name le... den eat le... den gt a lot of ppl waiting for our seat... den i slowly drink my drink... haha... den she keep asking nt to play le.. den i let them seat lor... haha... den go interchange and board the bus back to BP den send her home... i juz hope that she was happy today cause i dun noe how many more anniversary there will be... i also dun care le... wad it matter is juz memories and nt long lasting for mi le... after that went home... on the way home... called someone... but end up quarreling... haiz... nvm... i think i shall nt bother you anymore... haiz... wish you all the best ba... haiz....

sorry jiaxin... gt one big secret to tell you... actually im nt sleepy at all... juz that i haf been having terrible headache since this morning when i woke up... sorry for nt telling you... juz dun wan you to worry...

Back

2008-10-25T11:23:00.005+08:00

ding dong ding dong... im back le wor... haha... miss mi?? guess nt... cause no one reads this... haha... even haf i also dun noe.... cause only jiaxin will tag mi... i wont be posting a lot as im having fever from yesterday afternoon... actually before yesterday i noe i sure will sick de as during geograhpy paper... i feel lyk fainting le... haha... whole body was hot sia... haiz... this is the second time i had this le... but last time de more worst... totally cannot get out of bed... and had sleep for more den 24 hours... lyk mi in a coma sia... no one disturb i sleep sleep sleep only... haha... ltr going to suntec to meet my darling(kawthaman) haiz... he today last day at NUSS Suntec le... he will be transfer to NUSS bukit timah from next monday onwards... haiz... work life will nt be fun anymore le... am i going to watch midnight movie alone or wait till someone call mi... sry jiaxin that i cant haf a happy post... btw... i am happy to msg you last night...

Second Time Blogging le

2008-10-19T22:21:00.002+08:00

weird ba... second time blogging.. haha... actually dun noe wad to say... i noe im a nt gd in talking... im a quiet person... i noe im nt gd for you... im trying to change... talk talk talk... talk only ma... very difficult meh... haiz... with friends also dun noe wad to talk... with gf also dun noe wad to talk... haiz... cant i juz be more talkative a bit... talk more... but nt all the stupid jokes and crap... no wonder all my friends leaving mi without mi noticing.. haiz.. everywhere i go... every event i go... everything at anywhere... i also alone... gt gf... also keep quiet... haiz... only noe how to joke joke make ppl laugh... but do they really happy or juz laugh for the sake of laughing... haiz... today mark our 19 days together... but... haiz... nvm ba... juz hope that everything goes right.... haiz... i really nvr even think of breaking up... but why... haiz... history repeats again... haiz... speechless will be the reason... why... dun i learn my mistake... haiz... im trying very hard le... i noe you also understand.... but... i juz dun wan to break up la... aiyo... now even blogging also dun noe wad to say.. haiz... wad else i can do sia... work??? drink??? smoke??? flirt??? wad else... haiz... WHY??? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O Level Is Tml

2008-10-19T16:19:00.002+08:00

haha... tml o lvl le... cant wait for it to finish... haha... den i will be damn damn busy... haha... i actually did study for the past few days... and i cant believe tt i studied... lol... but only chemistry... haha... muz kiwi kiwi a bit here and there in order to pass my science.. haha... wake up very early and wait for my mum to wake up den she wake up very late... by the time she wake up le i find my own breakfast le lor.. haha... clever ba... haha... den study chem and my sis nvr go out study so i go ask her maths... haha... the stupid mr lim lor... dun wan teach mi... keep saying tt he busy... i think he dun noe how to do ba... haha... now i noe the formula for the n term de le... haha... lucky my sis learn from school den teach mi... or else die le lor... haha... today mark our 19 days together le... so far nth go wrong except yesterday night... haha.. nvm la... shall nt talk about it as it's over le... or else ltr she go crazy again... haha... didnt noe she love so many people... haha... all girls somemore... haha... wonder is she lesbian or nt... haha... nvm la.. girls also say love this girl love tt girl but in the heart only truely love a guy... haha... shall stop here ba... haha... btw... jia xin... i haf change the link le.... you nt happy i also cannot do anything... haha...

It's OVER

2008-10-14T13:50:00.004+08:00

haiz... i haf been trying to save this relationship and yet there is someone out there destroying it... haiz... dun noe who and i dun wish to noe le... cause i noe also no use le... it's already over... i actually so stupid to wake up early wanting to see her this morning... but reach BP LRT only... i saw Marcus... den i decided to back off... hoping to see her in school and this thing happen... argh... over le la... so goes to Darius life... over le... this thing happen only... totally no mood to study le... den walk out of school.. saw my friend... actually wan to smoke already... but den think think... i dun wan smoke... haiz... thought still haf hope de... but... she give up le... im sry to make you suffer... i juz wan to make you happy everytime... but i fail again and again... im sry... haiz... juz take care ba... hope you find ur happiness soon... i still haf my darling(kawthaman) best darling i ever had... he everytime will be there to stay up with mi listen to mi... although he like a girl le... den he this few day find mi very irritating... but i will wait for his return... and i think he will also wait for my return to NUSS (suntec)... but i guess he nt going to wait for mi le... he wan to go NUSS (bt timah) haiz... leave ba leave ba.. i wont bother you anymore... take care... haiz... why nt everyone leave mi la... see how fun was it to haf no friends... wahaha... i think now only gt one stupid fatty idiot waiting for mi.. which is Jeffrey... only wan mi to work work work... haiz... i promise you i will work every single day when my o lvl finish... how many hours you wan mi to work i also work... 12 to 12 is the best but Christmas and new year i wan work 12pm to 2 hor... haha... den $$$ come in to mi as a smoke machine... haha...

Someone Please Kill Me

2008-10-13T12:01:00.004+08:00

argh... 1st 0ct 12am to 13 oct 12 pm... haiz.. nt even two weeks... she broke up with mi... haiz... heartache now is very pain... too pain that i wan to kill myself... but i rather wan people to kill mi... 13 days and 12 hours... im once again dumped by girls... argh... haiz... haf feeling that she will break up with mi yesterday le... and i told myself that she wont as i really trust her... but end up she still break up with mi... haiz... guess my life doesnt suit to haf a relationship ba... haiz... 2 years back i seal my heart le... hiding all my feelings deep deep inside my heart... but i open up my heart again... and now i guess i haf to seal my heart forever le ba... no feelings... no problem de darius once and for all... haiz... after today... i dun think i will blog again and wont be online... or in fact... wont be using comp anymore... so people... if you wan to chat with mi... do it now... dateline is on 13 oct 11.59 pm... i will switch off my comp at 14 oct 12 am sharp without and notice for people who talk to mi online... haiz... i talk to her end up break up... haiz... darius darius... how you manage to talk till break up... haiz... speechless for you... take care everyone and gd luck for o lvll for those who taking o lvl...

Im Back

2008-10-03T19:42:00.004+08:00

haha... im back... welcome myself back... i really dun noe wad to blog sia... but jiaxin keep asking mi to blog... haha... from yesterday things had been happening... haiz... happy sad happy sad happy sad happy sad and happy again... now no longer sad le... haha... cause u sad also haf to live one day... happy also live one day... might as well live happy life right.. haha... today saw jiaxin twin sister... haha... one juz hack care mi... the other one still at least say hello... haha... cute sia... but only 1/4 of my cuteness... wahaha... haiz... left only a few days in school... haiz... and time to see her is getting lesser and lesser le.... haiz... nvm den... haiz...

jiaxin wants mi to post this... she wan mi to say tt she is cute, nice, pro and caring... (which is nt) wahaha...

Chalet At Island Resort

2008-09-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

yesterday having a chalet at island resort with colleagues... when to workplace at 8.30... traveling time 1 hour... walking time 30 mins... so i reach there at 10... haha... den wait for them to finish work.... den start washing all the meats... cut the fruits... haha... den bring the things down to meet Hebe's husband, Andrew, a brother of mine... haha... and also my master... haha... teach mi a lot of things... but he nvr work le as he found a full time job... put everything at his lorry den wait for the rest to come down... haha... den off we go... i thought we going le sia... but go fetch Ah Boon (cold side Assistant Chef)... den caught in the jam as F1 race is over le... haha... very jam sia... jam for 1 hour... reach island resort... hebe came out to fetch us... thought near near only... but end up at the far end... lol... reach only... i change my shirt den i go cycle with pui yee without my phone le... the whole night was very moody... den my boss keep disturb mi... ur darling nvr come u so sian... den assistant boss say ur bro nvr come u so sian sian de... haha... den the whole night i only talk to carol, yi feng, pui yee... haha... den pui and i come back... den eat... haha... after eat... i drink a bit... den go cycle with pui yee again... den all my colleagues disturb mi and pui yee... keep asking mi to cycle the double rider de... den i dun wan... haha... den go help Shawn to buy cigarette den we cycle till very far... haha... after tt... go back eat again... haha... den nth to do... mi, carol, pui yee and yi feng go cycle... actually is mi, pui yee and yi feng... den carol ask yi feng to cycle the double rider de as no more single de bike de... haha... den we cycle very very far... den they wan to turn back... i ask them go back first den i go moody again le... haha... after tt... i cycle back... and guess wad... they were behind mi... lol... they go play sea water... haha... go back... kok leong birthday... which is on the 27 September.... but we sing at 2 plus... den may, her husband and two new full timer go off le... follow by Shawn and Chris... follow by Alan (boss) and his wife Bernice (my mummy) den nth to do i go check my phone... gt one msg from jia xin... at 10 plus... 2 missed called from my bro (which sleep alone at office) at 1.30 plus... den i see the time it was already 3 plus going to 4 le... den nvr call or msg back... den den see Ronald, Hebe, Owen and Ah Boon... haha... they playing poker... haha... loser drink one bowl of red wine at one shot... haha... first one down is Ah Boon... den kok leong take over... den Ronald dun wan play le cause he cant take it le... den his gf, carol, take over... den Owen also cant take it le.. den i help him drink if he lose... haha... den after tt.. i go bath... den he also knock out le... haha... den Jeremy take over... haha... den change to play money le... haha... den hebe was losing very badly till 20 over dollars... but in the end win everything back... den i take over jeremy as he wan to bath le... den i was winning all the way... haha... so gd so gd... haha... den play till 6.30... they go sleep le... den i was outside the room alone... den Ah Boon wake up le den he go off le... den i haf nth to do... i do some clear up and i go cycling again... haha... mostly spend my time cycling there sia... haha... den come back... relax for awhile... jeffrey (assistant boos) and his wife go off le... den i go in the room... i saw everyone was lyk so cold den they lyk keep finding blanket... so all i can do is only off the fan... haha... den i saw pui yee pulling the sleeping bag... den i help her lor... den wait for ppl to wake up... den carol and ronald go off after they wake up... den owen and pui yee wake up... den pui yee go wash up den she go walk walk... den i cycle... den go back at 10... den yi feng wake up le... den andrew also wake up le... den mi, pui yee, yi feng going to go off le... den ask andrew gt anything to bring back to office or nt... den he say he will bring back... den we go out take cab... den go up find my bro... go the guild find bro cause he always sleep at the guild... den talk to him... den pui yee call him den we go out meet her... den go down for breakfast at HAN'S... haha... long time nvr go le... cause nvr work, nvr overnight den nvr go for breakfast... haha... den go home... sleep all the way from 2 plus to 7 plus den wake up le... about 5 hours of sleep and that is enough for mi le... haha...

Fucking Tired

2008-09-22T19:52:00.004+08:00

im damn tired so talk.. think... type... and other things... or in fact... all the things... break my own record le.. 60 hours nvr sleep... previous record 30 hours... times 2 sia... haiz... juz take care to everyone out there... bye... wan to sleep for forever if possible... haiz...

Fasting The Whole Day

2008-09-21T19:32:00.005+08:00

haiz... the whole day nvr eat... from yesterday night till now... haiz.. no mood to eat... cause of something... nvm la... haiz... my fault anyway... cant blame anyone also... my mum keep asking mi to eat something... but no mood... juz now to go study alone... haha... i really have no idea wad am i thinking sia... haiz... nvm la... after few weeks will be ok le... haiz... juz purely take care of yourself ba... she left mi le... think you will be very happy by now ba... laugh for all you wan...

To marcus: if you happen to read this... i now hand over her to you... make sure you take good care of her or else you will be in deep shit...
To jiaxin: sry that i break my promise to you... and i will break another one real soon... sry to push you to marcus again... but i think marcus is a gd guy... i can sense that he likes you... the way he look at mi... the way he walk away tt day... i noe he lyk you... treat him gd ba... dun break ur promise to him le... he feels sad... and for azmeran... i will nt disturb him about you le... dun worry... i will now totally leave out of ur life le... dun nid to bother weather im dead or alive... cause im nt worth....
To everyone out there: Wont be posting till im fine.. or wont be posting forever le... happy looking at all my post ba... WARNING>>>Very emo de

Think Before You Say

2008-09-21T11:05:00.003+08:00

Darius... after go many months le... to Joscelin lyk tt... now also lyk tt... dun you learn ur lesson??? haiz... you are really hopeless le.. u dun learn... or in fact... you dun bother... haiz... which one to say and which nt to say u still dun noe... haiz... im speechless about you already... i give up le la... if she really nvr turn up today... den all the best to you den... if she did turn up... u better explain to her... so else you will regrets which you always did...

Gym And Swimming

2008-09-20T22:18:00.004+08:00

today... joscelin ask mi am i free today... so i ask why... she say she want to go out with mi... ya... go out lor... but ask her go where den she say dun noe... and tt make mi piss off... if u wan to ask mi out... think of a place and think everything first den ask mi... haiz... or else we will spend time walking around and end up juz walking... haiz... after tt she offline le... den my idiot father woke up.. i juz hack care.. dun even bother to look at him... haha... my mother say my sis and neighbour wan to go swimming den i ask them go CCK there swim cause i can go early and gym first before swimming... den left house at 2.45... start gyming at 3.07... they say they will leave house at 3.15.. but at 4 i call them... they say they juz reach... lol... den i gym for awhile more den go down meet them... play with all the kids lyk hell sia... haha... den wave pool... haha... make mi feel so funny sia... i noe my brother cant swim... so he happy happy so wave pool there keep jumping cause of the current very strong for him... den i saw him cant take it le... den i go carry him up... den i say... jump somemore la... haha... den my neighbour brother also jump jump jump... and i didnt noe he dun noe how to swim also.. den suddenly see he cant take it le... so i go carry him lor... haha... today darius yer hwee long is the life guard of the day... haha... all the life guard only noe how to beep beep... haiz... den 6.30 i go bath... cant tahan le... my eyes hurt lyk hell.. haha... den go plaza eat mac den buy sushi... haha... den go home le... haha...

to joscelin... no offence wor... juz telling how i feel only...

Young Talent At RP

2008-09-19T14:06:00.005+08:00

juz now before going out very sleepy le sia... cause suddenly knock off while waiting for game... went to RP alone... haha... somehow forget how to go le... haha... went there den yasmin saw mi den call mi noob... haiz... noob will always call ppl noob...

1st show
Vibrant Drum Beats by woodlands ring secondary... haha... i lyk the way the perform la... the way they beat the drum... haha.. i also wan to learn sia... haha...

2nd show
Erhu by a 17 year old guy... it was cool la... his erhu got grade 9 le... den the performance was lyk so amazing la...

3rd show
a dance by Tiffany kou and Chung Cheng (Yishun).... nth much at first but till Tiffany came out... she is too gd le la... she win a lot of awards la... and grad from NAFA in dance...

4th show
Chinese clapper by a 12 year old boy... Chinese poem... so gd... haha... was very surprise tt a boy can do this la...

5th show... hip hop plus wushu... nth much leh... no hip hop at all la... all wushu... haha....

6th show
singing and guzheng by two Malay people... it was wow... haha... Malay can play Chinese instrument... wow... a big WOW to them...

7th show
dance again by NUS Chinese dance... i dun really lyk the dance as it is boring and i dun even understand the story...

8th show
magic show by imran... this muz be the favourite to everyone who go for the event... he ask one person to check a piece of paper and he burn the paper and it turn to a $10 note and he gave it to tt guy... it was a disappointment that he didnt ask mi la... cause i short of cash now... haha...

9th show
bells percussion by the ministry of bells (MOB)... all kinds of bells they use to make music and it was nice and cool...

10th show
dance again... hip hop plus break dance... performance was ok... but the music they use was nice... haha...

11th show
singing by the BY2... the first song they sang was damn nice la... i lyk it very much... but the second song they sang make mi piss off... they was using the mic and it was loud already but they still shout lyk nobody business sia... irritating lyk hell...

12 show (last show item)
cheer leading by the Magnum Force... the whole place was cheering for them all the way... i lyk the way they perform... they are very high... wow...

overall i will rate 9 out of 10 as some of the performance doesnt make mi feel gd.. haha... but all i can say is WOW... Wonderful... really a big success sia...

Fed Up

2008-09-19T14:06:00.003+08:00

this is about yesterday morning... after morning assembly... i go concourse look for eddy... den he say upper secondary looking for ms yong... so i take the paper and see who going to the SPH event at RP lor... den the ms yong suddenly shout at mi sia... she shout... u wan to write ur name or nt... if dun wan... get lost... wa... i was lyk WTF... den i wan to write she shout at mi again... this is my pen and paper... den she take away... fuck right... i all the way juz keep quiet even she snatch the paper and pen away... i feel lyk punching her stupid face sia... was all the way staring at her... fuck sia... so fed up lor... cant tahan... go look for mr sng, her husband cum DM... i shout at him... he keep asking mi to calm down... how do u expect mi to calm down when ur stupid wife is finding fault at mi... stupid right... i told sng that ur wife getting more ridiculous already after marry to u as a DM... den he keep saying that he will talk to her... u think i believe meh... ur wife leh... of course u will help her la... im nt stupid ok... haiz... i actually had a dream during one of my prelim paper of mi scolding the stupid ms yong... mt paper 1 i didnt do much so i only use one paper... den i sleep le... end of paper... she knock my desk and ask mi stupid question... which paper u wan to hand in... i was lyk scolding her... u no eyes or no brain... or u scare ur baby come out with no eyes and brain that's why u donate it to ur baby... haha... one blank paper and one written paper... of course the written paper la... stupid... brainless ms yong...

Well Done

2008-09-09T18:02:00.002+08:00

Well Done Darius... look at wad you haf done... haha... everything come to the end and u lost everything... as always... you always lost everything and lost to everyone... are you happy now... u thought this will happen in tt way or other... but that's wad u thought only... you this stupid fool... everyone plays and joke with you and u didnt realise it... because you trust them so much that they wont leave or lie to you... haiz... DARIUS... WAKE UP LA... STOP DREAMING LE...

LOST IN POOL COMPETITION

2008-09-05T17:01:00.002+08:00

haiz... today wake up very early to haf breakfast at mac... haha... now den i noe she eat so slow that why recess dun wan to eat... haiz.. take care den... den go youth hub to haf competition... won all 4 games and move to lunch... after lunch... semi final start... i won jia hao and i saw annie which is jia hao girl face change... haiz... make mi feel so sad and wanted to withdraw... den i was in the final with liang jie... no mood to play le... anyhow shoot... lost to him... haiz.... how can i lost to him... haiz... nvm la... over le... 1st runner up... haiz... sian sian sian... i wan champion... haiz... she untill noe still understand mi... wad im thinking she still dun noe... haiz... it's had been months since we are together... haiz... nth to say her le la... dun wish to say anything also... haiz...

After A Long Break

2008-08-06T21:22:00.002+08:00

it haf been some time when i last post... currently watching liao zhai on youtube... i juz feel lyk having the same illness as she got... only remember one particular day after every wake in the morning... haiz... im nt sad or happy or even angry... i juz dun noe wad to do... i noe people are waiting for mi to post... i really had no idea wad to do and wad to post... all my mind is only i dun noe... juz feel lyk smoking now... drink and get drunk... and btw... when my friend told mi that he forget to buy my chivas... i was so upset but nvm... this weekend i going to work and work and work to get money to buy my own chivas which cost about 100 ( round up) haiz... shall stop here... dun now when i going to post again...

Honeymoon Period Over

2008-03-31T20:46:00.003+08:00

haiz... can sense tt the honeymoon period over le... haiz... wan to see her only... she say tml can see wad... wad the hell... she only think of tml tml tml... haiz... cant she juz think tt wad if there will be no tml... haiz... den i nvr reply her msg and she msg mi can talk to mi please... den all my mind was only wad she say... tml tml tml... so i reply talk tml lor since everything to her can always push to tml... quarrel till i dun wan to even reply her msg cause if we continue... more problems will come... and she dun even understand... haiz... no point talk more about it... i juz felt tt im a stupid fool waiting for her coming down and hoping tt she can come down but she say is tml can see wad... and keep asking mi go home... so next time when u ask mi go home i will go home without looking back... and dun pull all my ex in our relationship... i dun really care about them when i was with them... they wan to go home... i juz sent them home and i'm off... so maybe i can juz walk off after sending back home...

Skip School Today

2008-03-24T20:28:00.004+08:00

haha... lazy to go school... in fact i promise the zhenghua kids tt i will be back there on the 24 march but didnt noe tt i will fail my o lvl and haf to retain... officially wake up at 12pm... haha.. lyk pig right.. i noe.. the toot toot Zi hui will say this de... went down to zhenghua primary and meet up with them... mi and dawn again... haha... took class 2D... haha... kids there are very fun to be with... haha... den the form teacher also very chio... haha... dawn age only sia... haha... firstly intro ourselves den art... den play games... ear almost burst by their shouting... they shout very loud sia... first round gt mix up... den ok le... haha... after tt... they went down for recess... den after their recess they went up to the hall and haf a talk by dawn on the 5 "i will"... after tt... go back to class to haf the memory work done by mi... haha... wanna learn?? come find mi ba... when i was teaching them... the teacher took video lor... argh... nvm la... i so handsome... she wanna video den video lor... den play games... gt one girl cry sia... den the teacher say is very often cry de... den go back to hall and had to end there... in the hall... i sat with the class.... haha... i really miss them lor... haiz.... nt only them la... but all the kids tt i went in to... haiz... den after dismissal.. i accompany them back to class... den the teacher give mi the honour to give them the sweets... wow... den i test them the 5 "i will" den they too noisy le den i juz give them the sweets lor... den still haf 2 more groups haven give yet den the teacher had one request and the request is ask them to do the memory work with mi... and the teacher video lor... lol... and i can sense tt she video mi lor... after tt... i ran down to the AVA room to meet up with the rest... den took photo and off we go... haha... when i was about to reach home... i realise tt i left my cloth peg at their classroom.... haiz... no way i can it get back le... haiz... so sad sia... haiz... next year had chance i will bring bao bei there to haf fun too... haha...

Who Will Always Be My Side At All Times???

2008-03-19T20:42:00.002+08:00

haiz... i think overall only smoking and kill all my thinking of being alone... haiz... she told mi that she is different from all my ex... haiz... do i think is there any different... haiz... i guess is the same lor... haf to go home early to had dinner with family, cant stay out late... haiz... i noe la... u all haf a family who love and family to love... i gt nth... haiz... i thought tt i will be happy after going out with her... but now i guess no more le... i wonder why am i so stupid... only find gf from my school... only school time with her... den after school send her home... other den tt... nth... lyk tt very happy meh... haiz... i also wan to be love and to love someone... but who.. who will give mi the love tt i wan... haiz... sometime i cross the road without looking out for cars... cause i juz hope tt one very cool car juz knock mi down... since i cant get the love on earth... might as well i go and get my love in hell... haiz... argh... im going crazy le la... i rather keep quiet den to talk now... haiz... let mi emo ba... haiz...

What Am I Thinking

2008-03-17T19:43:00.002+08:00

haiz... gt a lot to post.. but so many things happen and i dun noe where to start... haiz... shall start from today and go on ba... haiz... now im pretty sad about wad she told mi ba... i ask her friend and her friend told mi the same thing tt i felt... haiz... whoever see this... haf u ever think if someone u love very much and the person tt u love suddenly ask u nt to touch him or her... how would u feel... haiz... i start to think a lot... and i didnt talk much... when her bus came and she gave mi the piss off face and juz walk off.. i was lyk WTH.. i haven even get piss and she gt piss le.. haiz... last friday... i went out with my friend at 2.30am... den they went block shopping den at 4.30 gt people call police and we were caught by the police... haiz... at 6 the police send us home and told our parents... haiz.. den kena nag... and of course i quarrel with my parent la.. haiz... wad my parent noe about mi... i dun think they noe anything... when i was sec 1... they noe how i feel and they wan mi to tell them everything.. when i was in sec 2... they ignore mi le... and i start to go on my own... haiz.. now they also dun wan to care about mi le... so i also dun bother to tell them wadever im doing... haiz... thursday go out with friends... go give respect to kenneth koh shi rong... as well as my god brother... after tt... go watch movie.. rule #1... nice movie but confusing... haha.. after tt... rush to JP to buy frame for the puzzle which i brought for her on wednesday... tuesday... went to sentosa with her after school... had a lot of fun there... we almost spend the whole day with one another... took a lot of photo... mainly wad i do the past week is only work work work... haiz... i juz nid one person to really understand mi but why there is no one.. haiz...

Everything Haf Change

2008-03-10T00:39:00.003+08:00

haiz... i felt that everything haf change between us le right after the plaza incident... shall nt mention it until i think it's time to say... maybe u didnt realise it ba... but i can felt the changes le... haiz...

Angie Mummy Story

2008-03-09T01:03:00.002+08:00

currently at work place... haha... staying overnight... haha... after work... at 11.50 pm... my baobei using someone phone to msg mi... was so happy... haha... den call her chat for less than 5 min only... at least can hear her voice.. haha.. den my boss ask mi am i stay here... den i say yes... haha.. den may ask mi... i quarrel with my mum again ar... den angie mummy hear tt... den suddenly talk about her children.. den she cry... haiz... but wad she say is true la... every parent care for their children... but i dun noe my parents do or nt... i also dun hack... but all i noe is in the future i will give my children the love and care they nid... i will spend time with them everyday no matter how busy i am...

Sad Night

2008-03-08T14:21:00.003+08:00

haiz.. cant sleep the whole night sia... sleep at around 4 plus... trying to dream of her but i didnt dream of anything at all... haiz... why... haiz... morning wake up check phone gt msg or nt... dun haf msg at all... i totally forgot that she cant use phone... haiz... now going to work le... will nt be home for 3 days...

Bao Bei Darling On Camp

2008-03-07T22:25:00.002+08:00

haiz... today nt a gd day for both of us... haiz... she going camp le and we cant contact each other for 3 days and we are very sad le... den we try to make one another happy... den we go plaza after school... she brought naked fish and we went to garden plaza and eat... half way through... teachers (shall nt mention) saw us doing something nt right and scold her... haiz... den we all the way very moody le... nvr even hold hands or kiss or even hug... haiz... i miss her so badly... wonder who will make mi as happy as the days i had with her... haiz.. i dun think there will be anyone... haiz...

A Very Sad Day For Me

2008-02-21T23:07:00.002+08:00

early in the morning... wake up and get scolding from my mum... haiz... but i dun care as long as it is about her... wait for her at the BP LRT... was quite upset when i saw one more person... haiz... all plan juz lyk a strong wind... blow all away... haiz... den nvm... in class... totally no mood... damn sad for wad had happen in the morning... haiz... den after school le... had to go down to the canteen to change drink as my friend buy the wrong one... haiz... den skip ACT... den wait for her... den go down... haiz... den she lyk kinda of making mi jealous lor... haiz... i was a bit piss off but i act nth happen... den wait for her at other classroom till sleep... after tt... they had to go off le... den left mi all alone again lor... den go home... den kena nag again... haiz... den go for lesson... after lesson... thought tt can meet her and spend at least 1 hour with her.. but haiz... nvm den... i didnt blame her at all.. cause i guess she was right.. her parents do get worry for mi... unlike my parents... i die they also dun care... i juz felt tt this home to mi is juz lyk a cage... wad i mean by cage... it mean tt... this is the place for mi to sleep, eat and drink... and the door will open for mi to go out and had fun... the door will left open so i can go back as and when i lyk... go out to had fun... haiz... do u think i really had the fun??? haiz... so overall... today i was always left alone the whole day... haiz... is only the 7 days and we are lyk having a small fight le... haiz... case study: Ailena's Case When I Went Out With Her... i dun noe la... juz by saying no common interest den dump mi... dun care about life and death...
talking and life and death... i juz somehow feel lyk ending my life... cause i juz felt that it's meaningless to continue to live lyk others do when i dun haf anything... i admit tt i get jealous very easily but wad to do... mostly ppl get the things they want... but wad i get is juz piece of shit... haiz...
To her... if u see this... i understand wad u mean on this date... and i understand how u feel... i noe de... im sry if im too harsh...

Chinese New Year

2008-02-07T01:29:00.000+08:00

haha... so late still blogging... haha... juz now chinese new year eve den working... haha... gt a bit piss off cause the rest of the runner dun wan to work fast den i gt so piss off den i go behind and wipe plate... haha... behind slacking all the way... haha... total of 30 table of 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 pax... so after the guest leave... we haf more job to do... cause we haf to wipe all the cup, wine glass, plates and bowls... so busy... work till 11 and we go home le...

Result Is Out

2008-01-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

haiz... today get result... haha... guess how many i got.. haha... 35... i gt shock sia... i wanted to cry out.. but i stay strong... stay damn strong and joscelin say i siao siao de... lyk no feeling de... joyce got 15 and i very happy for her... congrats joyce... haha... she was right... a person lyk mi... will nt success de... haiz... dun nid to talk to her le... haiz... saw ailena crying... den suddenly dun noe who throw knife at mi... den my heart was very hurt... i wanted to step forward and console her.. but i juz haf no guts to step forward... haiz... den joscelin keep asking mi to cry... lol... haiz... den i try nt to cry until i saw mr eddy... im sry mr eddy.... i already did my best and i still fail... sry for the hope u haf on mi... haiz... den go plaza...den send eve home... den go for class... hurt myself of course... no mood for class... haiz... chat wif ailena... feeling happy... but sad after chatting... haiz... im my mind now is only drinking... i wan to drink more den new year eve... i wan to get drunk much more worst den new year eve... i got nth le... i haf lost everything in my life le... all friends for gone from today onwards... haiz... i wonder all the pri 5 and 6 got shock when i say i no gf... haha... kids... doesnt mean tt u guys say tt im handsome then i will haf gf... i nt handsome anyway... no girls wants mi... haiz...

A Sad Dream I Had Last Night

2008-01-20T12:59:00.001+08:00

haiz... i dream of rose yesterday night... i noe that she leave singapore... but i dream of her last night... i dream about all the memory that we had and she juz left mi juz lyk this... i cry... i miss her... and i really do... i juz type it out cause this is the words from my heart... i wanted to give her a surprise for her birthday... and i plan it all out already... but before i do that... someone told mi tt she leave singapore already... haiz... i had promise her that i will give her tt thing on her next birthday last year... i dun wan to break my promise... how can i break my promise when i teach all the kids nt to break their promise... haiz... and i nt that kind of person who break promises... argh... wad can i do now... i juz miss her very much... i guess she forgot her promises already... but cant blame her too... haiz...

Last Day In Zhenghua Primary

2008-01-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day in Zhenghua Primary or in fact yesterday since the clock had past 12am... i had fun with the pri 3... they are very hyper... so mi and dawn also very hyper lor... dawn even make mi dance in front of the kids during memory work period... so they say out the 5 i will and i dance lor... haha... too hyper le... haha... i love the kids for my 4 days in Zhenghua Primary... let mi think of their names that i can remember... nt really many... cause i didnt go round and ask them their name...
Pri 6 - Shu fen, Bernice, Hui wun, Xiu yi, Zhi cheng, Kenneth (they all call mi uncle) and i was juz 5 years older den them...
Pri 5 - Charmine, Wen jing, Victor, Alex and a few more... cant remember their names... (they call mi handsome) lol...
Pri 4 - Rou Yan, Jun Yang... i only manage to ask two of them cause the class too noisy le... but had a lot of fun...
Pri 3 - Heng Yun, Rayna, Yang Yue, Yu Ting, Javen, Jane and many more... cant remember le...

Wad is the Workshop About...
This Is the Character First Workshop Of Self Discipline - Care, Respect, Responsibility...
Wad is Self Discipline...
Self Discipline Is TO KNOW AND DO WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME...
The 5 "I WILL"
I Will Keep All Of My Promises
I Will Not Make Excuses
I Will Do All My Work The Best I Can
I Will Make Thing Right When I Do Wrong
I Will Know And Do What Others Are Expecting Me To Do
Memory Work...
I will keep all of my promise and no excuses make.
I will do all my work the best i can whatever it may take.
I will make thing right when i do wrong to clear my conscience through.
I will know and do what others are expecting me to do.
My character is what will make a leader out of me,
so next time through, lets say it more
ENTHUSIASTICALLY!!!

Busy But Happy

2008-01-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

sry didnt update for long time... was really busy working... haha... im working at suntec tower 4.... at level 5... NUSS Guild House!!! only for NUSS Members!!! sad... i thought of bring my family there to eat... haha... i work as a waiter... at there... i was blur at times... was angry at time... but i had fun... i noe a lot of people there... there are bernice, carol, kawthaman, hebe, may, owen, kit mun - the Full Timer... Andrew, Fatima, Kok Leong, Alvis, Dennis, Andy, Peter, Joey - the Part Timers... Alan - Boss... Jeffrey - A. Boss... Mikha, Yurike, Diah - the Trainee... i think i will left out some of them... haha... i had taken some photo wif them... maybe will upload a bit later... haha... this two days... i was having my voluntary work at Zhenghua Primary... sad to say tt i haf to wake up early again... haiz... but i was happy to be wif them... yesterday was wif the pri 6... guess wad they call mi... haha... they call mi uncle... lol... do i look tt old... haha... but nvm la... play play ma... muz haf fun... juz tt we had some time management problem... they took too long to settle down... so we had only one game wif them... but we had a lot of fun... haha... i noe some of them... but dun really noe how to spell their names... haiz... sry... after the workshop... i went to work... today... pri 5... guess wad they call mi... they call mi handsome... and start asking mi a lot of questions... such as... u haf gf or nt... u haf msn... u haf friendster and many more... although they are very noisy... but we still haf fun... juz tt got one guy cry... haiz... was my fault actually... haiz... when they are doing art and craft... they ask mi to take a look at their peg... so i took it up... and i didnt noe tt the paint haven dry... den after art and craft... they we out to wash their hands and paint... and guess wad... they use water cooler to wash it for the guy... WTH... water cooler is for drinking and nt for washing... and i ask them to go to the toilet to wash it and i had to clean up the mess they made... den i went to the staff toilet to wash my hands... and i didnt noe tt one boy in my class juz taking water... and i ask the boy dun wash the paint at the water cooler... den he shout at mi... saying tt he was juz taking water... so i ask him to go back to class... and his classmate shout at him asking him nt to wash paint at the water cooler and he cried... den while i washing the mess... i ask two boys to get him back... den they ran up to mi and say they said that tt boy was crying in the toilet and he lock himself inside... den after i finish cleaning up the mess... i told dawn tt i go to the toilet to get tt boy... and when i get there... at first i didnt noe wad to do... and one of the teacher came in... he talk to the boy but the boy still dun wan to get out... and he left... i ask all the students to go back to class after finish washing their stuff... and i talk to the boy... and he finally get out and go back to class... i dun noe weather is my fault but i think it is my fault... haiz... during the last period wif them... guess wad... they ask for my email address... and i wrote it on the board... and they copy down in their handbook... and one boy was so cute... he ask mi to sign... lol... den the rest heard and all ask mi to sign too... den one ask for my number.... den the rest also ask for my number.... was very busy and tired... haha... after workshop.. i went to work... hopefully tml will be a better day for mi and dawn... hopefully no problems at all... everything will go successfully... for the pri 5k and 6k (k=kindness) in Zhenghua Primary who saw this... hope that u had enjoy the time we had... and good luck for the pri 6... u all are tking ur PSLE this year... i hope tt u guys will study hard and play hard at the same time... take care...

Long Post About Past Few Days

2007-12-02T11:24:00.000+08:00

time now is 11.30... wonder how long i will take to post this...

27/11/07
i went to youth hub to play my last hour of pool... haha... after playing... i went home... plan to stay at home... but went out to play skates... my mind was thinking a lot of stuff... den i keep falling... haiz...
28/11/07
wake up early in the morning... went to the market alone... buy the vegetable tt i going to cook... haha... first time sia... after tt... had my breakfast... den i went home... reach home... go sleep again... haha... the whole holiday i only sleep sleep sleep... nth to do at all... haiz... den at 5... getting prepare to go out... haha... at 6 reach jurong east platform... wait for the rest to reach... haha... den went everyone reach... we took train to marina bay... den took bus to marina south and had steamboat there... nth special for mi as last year also go there... after eating... we went to the pool area and play... plan to take photo there... but yong chye and rui rong still playing... haha... after tt... we took train back home... den rui rong, carlos, shaoyu, wei na, joan, yong chye alight at bt. gombak... left mi and evelyn at the train and shaoyu say dun do wrong thing... WTH... wad thing can i do other den send her... haha... took LRT with evelyn and we exchange number... actually i dun really remember her le... haha... primary 6 we are in the same class for first term... but i quarrel with the teacher go i was tranfer to other class... so i guess i forget her le ba... haiz... nvm la... now remember her can le... haha...
29/11/07
whole day doing nth but waiting for msg... at 12... preparing to cook dinner le.. haha... cut vegetable till hand tired... haha... den i 2... start cooking rice and vegetable... my mum come in and wanted to help but i ask her to go out... haha... after cooking and at around 5... i msg hassan and ask him gt go POP camp or nt... he say he juz reach school... so i ask him can i go... he can can... den i pack up and off i go... reach there... eat dinner... haha... had fun with all the part D and my darling (kok bing)... haha... so sad tt i cant attend their POP... im sorry part D... campfire was cancel... dun noe why... but the performance goes on at the hall... i had video wad the perform... it may nt look gd... but i had try my best... didnt sleep... chatting with the part D and hassan... den pitch a tent... den i and hassan sleep together... miss the day we had together and we also miss the tent...
30/11/07
sleep for 1 hour and i wake hassan up... but he wake up and go back to sleep le... thought he wanna sleep longer... so nvr wake him again... wash up and eat breakfast... rush to bath and i book out... as i haf to go ubin for cycling trip... tell the officers and rush to took bus to bugis... den took train to pasir ris... reach there... still haf to wait for one more person.. so i go mac buy things to eat... den took bus to changi... den they eat breakfast and i go out walk walk... haiz... after tt... took boat to ubin.. haha... emo the whole day... haiz.. reach there... took a bike and haf some games and off we go to our games... haiz... i was damn happy cycling around ubin and all kinds of planning... after the second place we had to go... one of the group member leg pain... and we rest at one hut as it was raining... haiz... had some talking there... asking this and tt... after tt... we went to the meeting area... den haf games there and off we go to the 3rd place tt we nid to go... german girl shine... while we are on the way... gt one dog following us... den i was leading the team as i was the leader... so dawn say i had a pet dog as the dog is following mi.. haha... den when we found tt place... den go in pray pray while waiting for zhi yun to create a poem about the german girl shine... luckily i gt pray... haha... or else i die le lor... read on for more information... den moving on to the 4th... complete le... den we plan to stop le... but we wan to see where is the 5th place tt we had to go... den we think tt the place is nt far.. so we plan to go... but end up we cant go due to the fatso who hurt her leg... i was lyk so piss... argh... den i haf to miss the place and to back to the finishing point... den i was so piss den i cycle damn fast... gear 3,7... totally hard gear and some more was down slope all the way... den cycle half way... i think of her... and suddenly black out and i cant see anything... den my bike go off road and almost fell in the the jungle... den i slow down... when i feel ok le... den i speed up again... haiz... den return bike den go back.. at the train... i was damn sleepy... den i slept on siew huan shoulder... thanks le... haha... after tt... reach le... she say she slap mi... haha.. i dun feel tt... haha.. so nvr blame her... haha... she also say tt jane took picture of mi and her... lol... they all say we are lyk couple... lol... siao... couple... haha... im too old to be her bf la... haha... i also haf someone in my mind... at cck lrt... den my small towel drop to the track... haiz... damn unlucky sia... haiz...
wa... took very long to post this sia... haiz... had to prepare to go for class le...

Mum Discharge le

2007-11-24T23:06:00.000+08:00

today was wake up by my dad... argh.. i sweet dream juz fly lyk tt.. haiz.. i dream of her again... for past few days... i dream of her... she stead with mi... and we went to ubin and cycle together... haiz... dad told mi tt my mum can discharge le... he ask mi go to hospital to fetch her... den go wash up and out i go... reach le... den my mum having her lunch... den i go watch tv lor... after tt... go back to the room... she go get change le.. den wait for the nurse to come... den we go home le... reach home... and i go to bed again... den zong pu msg mi... ask mi go out sparring... lol.. was very tired... so i tell him tt i will meet him up at 4... den i sleep till 3.45.. haha... we spar till 5 den he go off le... den i slack at mac... den go for lion dance class... after class which is 10.15... ended quite late as they haf a lot of things to do.. i guess i shall stop here... haha... take care wor...

Operation Day

2007-11-23T17:12:00.000+08:00

today get out of bed at 5.30am... cant sleep the whole night... haiz... was very worry... even i turn on the music to the max also cant sleep.. haiz... go bath and out i go... before stepping ot of house... dad scold mi.. WTH... i go visit my mum early also cannot meh... haiz... den go to my room... tears rolling down my cheek... haiz... after stop crying.. i get out of home.. while on my way to bus stop.. i tear again... on the bus... i also tear again... haiz... i juz very worry and keep thinking wad if my mum operation fails... and the chance of my mum leaving mi is very high... reach hospital... rush to her ward and take a good look at her and chat lyk nvr before... haiz... after tt... she was push to the operation room le... haiz... den i go had my breakfast... den slack slack slack for 5 hours... haiz... den mum out le... was happy and very upset... happy tt she was fine... very upset is because i heartache... i look at her... she was suffering the pain... i rather tt i had the pain den she got... haiz... i cant take it and i walk out of the room and cry... den after tt.. my dad say he leaving le.. den i walk back to her room... den tell her tt i going to youth hub for a meeting... after meeting... i say bye bye to everyone... den saw Annie doesn't look happy.. i wonder is it my fault again... haiz... saw her sad make mi sad too... haiz... den rush home and bath before going back to hospital again... den post before going out lor.. haha.... gtg le.. going to hospital now.. haha...

Mum Was Hospitalise

2007-11-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

haiz... wad i do today... mainly nth lor.. haiz... mum was hospitalise today... she having an operation... haiz... was very worry for her.. haiz... now i will mainly focus on my mum, her and my black belt grading which will held next year... haiz.. today wushu training was damn tough... haiz... leg almost can't stand up straight lor... walk also haf problem... haiz... i guess i nid to go sleep le... haiz.. this few days also cant sleep well.. haiz... nid to turn on music to the max in my room den can sleep... haiz... tml haf to wake up damn early and rush to hospital as my mum operation will be held in the morning 9.30... den at 8... doctor will do a screening on her.. haiz... feeling so lonely right now... no one can support mi when im down and when i nid help... haiz...

Busybody or Stupid

2007-11-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

haiz... i dun noe am i busybody or being stupid... i stay up the whole night looking through and see wad can i help her... and i text her this morning and she seem to lyk hack care... haiz... forget abt it la... i juz being KPO and stupid ba... haiz... went to youth hub today... seem to be boring... haiz... Annie look quite sad and bored... and i guess she also ignoring mi le ba... senses tell mi so cause she deleted my comment in her friendster lyk wad joyce did... haiz.. i haf the sense tt people are avoiding mi... some how i feel weird and curious.. why people are avoiding mi.. haiz... play pool from 5.30 to 6.30... play with Jane and Jia Hao only... haiz... although i won a lot of games.. but i dun noe why i dun feel happy but i feel sad... weird??? haiz...

Red Belt Grading

2007-11-18T22:46:00.000+08:00

today i my red belt grading test... haha... reach kim seng cc at 12.40... get change and move to the hall... was shock to see 8 belt black there... wad curious cause there is no sparring for this grading and why there is so many black belt there... haha... grading start le... was the first person to be tested by wu shi xiong... he is very strict about the power you use... i only haf two pattern to do... so he keep asking mi to do over and over again... i use a lot of strength till arm was aching... and i finally pass with only first attempt... haha... was happy cause gt one pattern although haf only 4 stroke... but he very particular abt the strength... i did tt twice... haiz... nvm la... as long as i pass... haha... next grading will be around march next year... from white belt to brown belt... and 2 mins sparring... wow... cool... haha... the grading fee also very cool... it cost $105... certificate cost $40 and i haven pay... after tt... go to bugis alone as wei ze last min cant go... haha... nvm de la.. used to it le...

What Should I Do Now To Help

2007-11-17T11:26:00.000+08:00

haiz... i dun noe wad should i do now to help them... i dun wan them to be sad over relationship... i noe i haf no right to give them advise cause i was also a relationship failure... now he found a job le... hope this will make her think tt she is nt lonely le ba... i juz wan every couple to be happy... hopefully both of them to be happy... hope tt they will go out often when they are nt working... haiz... i some sort a bit jealous ba... saw many couple together so happy... haiz... wonder why i cant... haiz... fate ba... eddy always say it take time to heal... i wonder how long wil it take... 1 day??? 1 month??? 1 year??? or forever??? haiz... all i can do now is lock myself up... lock all my troubles inside mi which i haf been doing over this few years... troubles getting more and more... and none of the is solve... haiz... locks getting more and more to hide all my feelings and expressions... heartache getting more painful and painful... but wad can i do... i can do nth... i wan to cry out loud... but tears refuse to come out... haiz... going out alone doesn't make mi feel gd... but who will willing to go out with a boring guy... haiz...

I Am A Stupid Fool

2007-11-12T19:00:00.001+08:00

haiz... yesterday thought tt she work till very late... den i went there to wait for her... and i juz felt tt i am a stupid fool... being fool.. haiz.. i noe la... i easily to kena fool... those who hate mi will be very happy den.. haiz... i dun even care my exam today and went there to wait for her... haiz... was trap in shopping mall as all doors was close.. haiz... i noe im stupid... haiz... she msg mi today and i dun even thought of replying her msg lor... was so mad and upset abt wad had happen yesterday...

Sad??? Disappointed???

2007-11-01T15:22:00.000+08:00

juz woke up from sleep... from 11pm to 3pm sia... sleep so long after 6 days nvr sleep... haiz... im thinking of her every now and den.. cant stop thinking of her... i juz simply miss her so much that will ache mi lots... haiz...

Am I Staying Strong???

2007-10-28T19:32:00.001+08:00

haiz... i told myself tt i must be strong for her... but i think i cant... haiz... phone already 4 days nvr ring le... last time... almost everyday will receive her msg and her call at night... but now.. i juz feeling empty... haiz... today when out to buy her presents... i walk le for 1 hr 30 min and i only manage to buy birthday card for her... will go again tml to buy gift after exam... i juz scare tt my plan for her on her birthday will go down the drain... haiz... she told mi tt she will wait for mi till my exam finish... and she wants mi to accompany her... i felt happy of course... but tt is wad she told mi last week before she ignore mi... tee meng also want to accompany her on her birthday but she dun wan... i felt happy and feeling so lucky to haf her.... but now... there are a lot of fear in mi... a lot of question marks in my mind... haiz... i will still wait for her like how i wait my first admirer...

Emo Day

2007-10-26T16:32:00.000+08:00

wad i haf done today... cant sleep the whole night... thinking of wad is she thinking abt... haiz... den nvr sleep lor... use comp... den jerry online and scold mi... lol... he ask mi why i nvr go school... i thought he gt go school... but he nvr lor... lol... haiz... no mood to do anything at all... haiz... wonder when will she tell mi... haiz... i dun wan my plan to ruin again lyk last time... 8/12/07... will she remember this date??? haiz... shall stop here... haiz...

O Lvl (Geography Paper 2)

2007-10-25T23:26:00.000+08:00

was very worry that i cant do well for geography paper which i had studied a lot of this subject... cant sleep well the whole night... sleep at 1am plus... woke up at 3.28am... den sleep again.. woke up at 4.03am... den sleep again... woke up at 5.30am... den sleep again... woke up at 7.02am... so dun wish to sleep again le.. lie on my bed.. waiting for time to pass... reach abt 12.30... i go bath and i juz feel lyk sleeping juz to escape geography paper... i really very scare fail... haiz.. when i gt the paper.. the paper was quite ok... except the tourism part b... haiz.. dun noe how to do... lose 12 marks le... haiz... at 7.30... go for class... den 9 plus... joyce called... but i didnt answer as i was bathing... haha... she called back again at 10... at first chat till very happy de... but after tt... i very sad le... she had something to tell mi.. but she dun wan to say it out... i juz find it weird and i keep asking her... as i dun wan her to keep things to herself... haiz... den when both of us was quiet.. i say goodnight to her and i hang up the call... nt i wan to force her to say things out.. i juz sense tt something is wrong with her... haiz.. very moody now... shall stop here...

O Lvl (Chem paper 3)

2007-10-24T19:39:00.001+08:00

haiz... today i was so scare tt i woke up at 3am plus... haiz... reach school... i feel lyk running out of school and dun tk my exam... i scare fail... haiz... my target is 20 point leh... actually nt my target la... people give mi de... haha... if i can get 20 point for L1R4 den the person dun talk to mi le... haiz... but getting a gd result is also nt for tt person la... is also for my own future... haiz... open chem paper booklet... was stunned by the question... dun even noe one of the question sia... haiz... after paper... feel lyk hiding one corner and cry... haiz... i cant fail my science paper... i nid science for my course... haiz...

Moody

2007-09-02T20:39:00.000+08:00

haiz... lock myself in my room... haiz... i felt so upset... i didnt noe wad to do... am i in the wrong when i was trying to protect her from being bully by her friends... haiz... whenever i saw her being bully... i will haf a heartache... why cant she juz understand mi... why muz it always be guys to understand girls and why cant girls understand guys for once... haiz.... i try to protect her and she ignore mi... she dun wan to tell mi wad had happen but she tell her friends who bully her... WTH... haiz... i guess dawn was right... for the past few month was only our honeymoon time... after tt will haf problems... haiz... all i can do is to go to youth hub... play pool, play guitar and emo... haiz... u say u understand mi... but i dun think so... haiz...

A Short Story For The Past Few Days

2007-08-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

learning guitar for 9 days and i had my showcase for my vocal lesson on the 22/08/07... did pretty except my voice going off key due to my flu and sore throat... my very own song i sang... and this is the first song and first showcase i had... haha... title of the song... i think for so long and i dun noe which one to choose... should i name it ALONE or ABOUT MY LIFE??? PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!! haha... while learning my own song... Joshua from youth hub teach mi 5 more songs... haha... i had finally finish learning two songs... 3 more songs to go... haha... went to school today at 7.30 and i start doing my coursework for hours... till 4... first time i do non stop sia... haha... went home and get change and go bukit panjang for lion dance lesson... do nth but looking... next week den will start learning... haha... i suddenly want to learn a lot of things... haha...
1. Guitar
2. In-line Skate
3. Lion Dance
4. More Function On Computer
5. Fashion
6. Drama
7. Dance
8. Piano
haha... will be going to Malaysia tml... sian... go there do nth sia... haiz...

New Blog

2007-08-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

hello... open new blog... still nt done with all the editing... lazy to do and no time to do... haha... will nt post everyday which i used to... haha... today is the release of the o lvl MT mid year result... haiz... saw a lot of sad faces more den happy faces... today is also my late friend birthday... kenneth koh shi rong... haiz... miss him... haiz... after school... go home get change and go youth hub... teach more things... haha...