Long Post About Past Few Days

time now is 11.30... wonder how long i will take to post this...

27/11/07
i went to youth hub to play my last hour of pool... haha... after playing... i went home... plan to stay at home... but went out to play skates... my mind was thinking a lot of stuff... den i keep falling... haiz...
28/11/07
wake up early in the morning... went to the market alone... buy the vegetable tt i going to cook... haha... first time sia... after tt... had my breakfast... den i went home... reach home... go sleep again... haha... the whole holiday i only sleep sleep sleep... nth to do at all... haiz... den at 5... getting prepare to go out... haha... at 6 reach jurong east platform... wait for the rest to reach... haha... den went everyone reach... we took train to marina bay... den took bus to marina south and had steamboat there... nth special for mi as last year also go there... after eating... we went to the pool area and play... plan to take photo there... but yong chye and rui rong still playing... haha... after tt... we took train back home... den rui rong, carlos, shaoyu, wei na, joan, yong chye alight at bt. gombak... left mi and evelyn at the train and shaoyu say dun do wrong thing... WTH... wad thing can i do other den send her... haha... took LRT with evelyn and we exchange number... actually i dun really remember her le... haha... primary 6 we are in the same class for first term... but i quarrel with the teacher go i was tranfer to other class... so i guess i forget her le ba... haiz... nvm la... now remember her can le... haha...
29/11/07
whole day doing nth but waiting for msg... at 12... preparing to cook dinner le.. haha... cut vegetable till hand tired... haha... den i 2... start cooking rice and vegetable... my mum come in and wanted to help but i ask her to go out... haha... after cooking and at around 5... i msg hassan and ask him gt go POP camp or nt... he say he juz reach school... so i ask him can i go... he can can... den i pack up and off i go... reach there... eat dinner... haha... had fun with all the part D and my darling (kok bing)... haha... so sad tt i cant attend their POP... im sorry part D... campfire was cancel... dun noe why... but the performance goes on at the hall... i had video wad the perform... it may nt look gd... but i had try my best... didnt sleep... chatting with the part D and hassan... den pitch a tent... den i and hassan sleep together... miss the day we had together and we also miss the tent...
30/11/07
sleep for 1 hour and i wake hassan up... but he wake up and go back to sleep le... thought he wanna sleep longer... so nvr wake him again... wash up and eat breakfast... rush to bath and i book out... as i haf to go ubin for cycling trip... tell the officers and rush to took bus to bugis... den took train to pasir ris... reach there... still haf to wait for one more person.. so i go mac buy things to eat... den took bus to changi... den they eat breakfast and i go out walk walk... haiz... after tt... took boat to ubin.. haha... emo the whole day... haiz.. reach there... took a bike and haf some games and off we go to our games... haiz... i was damn happy cycling around ubin and all kinds of planning... after the second place we had to go... one of the group member leg pain... and we rest at one hut as it was raining... haiz... had some talking there... asking this and tt... after tt... we went to the meeting area... den haf games there and off we go to the 3rd place tt we nid to go... german girl shine... while we are on the way... gt one dog following us... den i was leading the team as i was the leader... so dawn say i had a pet dog as the dog is following mi.. haha... den when we found tt place... den go in pray pray while waiting for zhi yun to create a poem about the german girl shine... luckily i gt pray... haha... or else i die le lor... read on for more information... den moving on to the 4th... complete le... den we plan to stop le... but we wan to see where is the 5th place tt we had to go... den we think tt the place is nt far.. so we plan to go... but end up we cant go due to the fatso who hurt her leg... i was lyk so piss... argh... den i haf to miss the place and to back to the finishing point... den i was so piss den i cycle damn fast... gear 3,7... totally hard gear and some more was down slope all the way... den cycle half way... i think of her... and suddenly black out and i cant see anything... den my bike go off road and almost fell in the the jungle... den i slow down... when i feel ok le... den i speed up again... haiz... den return bike den go back.. at the train... i was damn sleepy... den i slept on siew huan shoulder... thanks le... haha... after tt... reach le... she say she slap mi... haha.. i dun feel tt... haha.. so nvr blame her... haha... she also say tt jane took picture of mi and her... lol... they all say we are lyk couple... lol... siao... couple... haha... im too old to be her bf la... haha... i also haf someone in my mind... at cck lrt... den my small towel drop to the track... haiz... damn unlucky sia... haiz...
wa... took very long to post this sia... haiz... had to prepare to go for class le...

Mum Discharge le

today was wake up by my dad... argh.. i sweet dream juz fly lyk tt.. haiz.. i dream of her again... for past few days... i dream of her... she stead with mi... and we went to ubin and cycle together... haiz... dad told mi tt my mum can discharge le... he ask mi go to hospital to fetch her... den go wash up and out i go... reach le... den my mum having her lunch... den i go watch tv lor... after tt... go back to the room... she go get change le.. den wait for the nurse to come... den we go home le... reach home... and i go to bed again... den zong pu msg mi... ask mi go out sparring... lol.. was very tired... so i tell him tt i will meet him up at 4... den i sleep till 3.45.. haha... we spar till 5 den he go off le... den i slack at mac... den go for lion dance class... after class which is 10.15... ended quite late as they haf a lot of things to do.. i guess i shall stop here... haha... take care wor...

Operation Day

today get out of bed at 5.30am... cant sleep the whole night... haiz... was very worry... even i turn on the music to the max also cant sleep.. haiz... go bath and out i go... before stepping ot of house... dad scold mi.. WTH... i go visit my mum early also cannot meh... haiz... den go to my room... tears rolling down my cheek... haiz... after stop crying.. i get out of home.. while on my way to bus stop.. i tear again... on the bus... i also tear again... haiz... i juz very worry and keep thinking wad if my mum operation fails... and the chance of my mum leaving mi is very high... reach hospital... rush to her ward and take a good look at her and chat lyk nvr before... haiz... after tt... she was push to the operation room le... haiz... den i go had my breakfast... den slack slack slack for 5 hours... haiz... den mum out le... was happy and very upset... happy tt she was fine... very upset is because i heartache... i look at her... she was suffering the pain... i rather tt i had the pain den she got... haiz... i cant take it and i walk out of the room and cry... den after tt.. my dad say he leaving le.. den i walk back to her room... den tell her tt i going to youth hub for a meeting... after meeting... i say bye bye to everyone... den saw Annie doesn't look happy.. i wonder is it my fault again... haiz... saw her sad make mi sad too... haiz... den rush home and bath before going back to hospital again... den post before going out lor.. haha.... gtg le.. going to hospital now.. haha...

Mum Was Hospitalise

haiz... wad i do today... mainly nth lor.. haiz... mum was hospitalise today... she having an operation... haiz... was very worry for her.. haiz... now i will mainly focus on my mum, her and my black belt grading which will held next year... haiz.. today wushu training was damn tough... haiz... leg almost can't stand up straight lor... walk also haf problem... haiz... i guess i nid to go sleep le... haiz.. this few days also cant sleep well.. haiz... nid to turn on music to the max in my room den can sleep... haiz... tml haf to wake up damn early and rush to hospital as my mum operation will be held in the morning 9.30... den at 8... doctor will do a screening on her.. haiz... feeling so lonely right now... no one can support mi when im down and when i nid help... haiz...

Busybody or Stupid

haiz... i dun noe am i busybody or being stupid... i stay up the whole night looking through and see wad can i help her... and i text her this morning and she seem to lyk hack care... haiz... forget abt it la... i juz being KPO and stupid ba... haiz... went to youth hub today... seem to be boring... haiz... Annie look quite sad and bored... and i guess she also ignoring mi le ba... senses tell mi so cause she deleted my comment in her friendster lyk wad joyce did... haiz.. i haf the sense tt people are avoiding mi... some how i feel weird and curious.. why people are avoiding mi.. haiz... play pool from 5.30 to 6.30... play with Jane and Jia Hao only... haiz... although i won a lot of games.. but i dun noe why i dun feel happy but i feel sad... weird??? haiz...

Red Belt Grading

today i my red belt grading test... haha... reach kim seng cc at 12.40... get change and move to the hall... was shock to see 8 belt black there... wad curious cause there is no sparring for this grading and why there is so many black belt there... haha... grading start le... was the first person to be tested by wu shi xiong... he is very strict about the power you use... i only haf two pattern to do... so he keep asking mi to do over and over again... i use a lot of strength till arm was aching... and i finally pass with only first attempt... haha... was happy cause gt one pattern although haf only 4 stroke... but he very particular abt the strength... i did tt twice... haiz... nvm la... as long as i pass... haha... next grading will be around march next year... from white belt to brown belt... and 2 mins sparring... wow... cool... haha... the grading fee also very cool... it cost $105... certificate cost $40 and i haven pay... after tt... go to bugis alone as wei ze last min cant go... haha... nvm de la.. used to it le...

What Should I Do Now To Help

haiz... i dun noe wad should i do now to help them... i dun wan them to be sad over relationship... i noe i haf no right to give them advise cause i was also a relationship failure... now he found a job le... hope this will make her think tt she is nt lonely le ba... i juz wan every couple to be happy... hopefully both of them to be happy... hope tt they will go out often when they are nt working... haiz... i some sort a bit jealous ba... saw many couple together so happy... haiz... wonder why i cant... haiz... fate ba... eddy always say it take time to heal... i wonder how long wil it take... 1 day??? 1 month??? 1 year??? or forever??? haiz... all i can do now is lock myself up... lock all my troubles inside mi which i haf been doing over this few years... troubles getting more and more... and none of the is solve... haiz... locks getting more and more to hide all my feelings and expressions... heartache getting more painful and painful... but wad can i do... i can do nth... i wan to cry out loud... but tears refuse to come out... haiz... going out alone doesn't make mi feel gd... but who will willing to go out with a boring guy... haiz...

I Am A Stupid Fool

haiz... yesterday thought tt she work till very late... den i went there to wait for her... and i juz felt tt i am a stupid fool... being fool.. haiz.. i noe la... i easily to kena fool... those who hate mi will be very happy den.. haiz... i dun even care my exam today and went there to wait for her... haiz... was trap in shopping mall as all doors was close.. haiz... i noe im stupid... haiz... she msg mi today and i dun even thought of replying her msg lor... was so mad and upset abt wad had happen yesterday...

Sad??? Disappointed???

juz woke up from sleep... from 11pm to 3pm sia... sleep so long after 6 days nvr sleep... haiz... im thinking of her every now and den.. cant stop thinking of her... i juz simply miss her so much that will ache mi lots... haiz...

Am I Staying Strong???

haiz... i told myself tt i must be strong for her... but i think i cant... haiz... phone already 4 days nvr ring le... last time... almost everyday will receive her msg and her call at night... but now.. i juz feeling empty... haiz... today when out to buy her presents... i walk le for 1 hr 30 min and i only manage to buy birthday card for her... will go again tml to buy gift after exam... i juz scare tt my plan for her on her birthday will go down the drain... haiz... she told mi tt she will wait for mi till my exam finish... and she wants mi to accompany her... i felt happy of course... but tt is wad she told mi last week before she ignore mi... tee meng also want to accompany her on her birthday but she dun wan... i felt happy and feeling so lucky to haf her.... but now... there are a lot of fear in mi... a lot of question marks in my mind... haiz... i will still wait for her like how i wait my first admirer...

Emo Day

wad i haf done today... cant sleep the whole night... thinking of wad is she thinking abt... haiz... den nvr sleep lor... use comp... den jerry online and scold mi... lol... he ask mi why i nvr go school... i thought he gt go school... but he nvr lor... lol... haiz... no mood to do anything at all... haiz... wonder when will she tell mi... haiz... i dun wan my plan to ruin again lyk last time... 8/12/07... will she remember this date??? haiz... shall stop here... haiz...

O Lvl (Geography Paper 2)

was very worry that i cant do well for geography paper which i had studied a lot of this subject... cant sleep well the whole night... sleep at 1am plus... woke up at 3.28am... den sleep again.. woke up at 4.03am... den sleep again... woke up at 5.30am... den sleep again... woke up at 7.02am... so dun wish to sleep again le.. lie on my bed.. waiting for time to pass... reach abt 12.30... i go bath and i juz feel lyk sleeping juz to escape geography paper... i really very scare fail... haiz.. when i gt the paper.. the paper was quite ok... except the tourism part b... haiz.. dun noe how to do... lose 12 marks le... haiz... at 7.30... go for class... den 9 plus... joyce called... but i didnt answer as i was bathing... haha... she called back again at 10... at first chat till very happy de... but after tt... i very sad le... she had something to tell mi.. but she dun wan to say it out... i juz find it weird and i keep asking her... as i dun wan her to keep things to herself... haiz... den when both of us was quiet.. i say goodnight to her and i hang up the call... nt i wan to force her to say things out.. i juz sense tt something is wrong with her... haiz.. very moody now... shall stop here...

O Lvl (Chem paper 3)

haiz... today i was so scare tt i woke up at 3am plus... haiz... reach school... i feel lyk running out of school and dun tk my exam... i scare fail... haiz... my target is 20 point leh... actually nt my target la... people give mi de... haha... if i can get 20 point for L1R4 den the person dun talk to mi le... haiz... but getting a gd result is also nt for tt person la... is also for my own future... haiz... open chem paper booklet... was stunned by the question... dun even noe one of the question sia... haiz... after paper... feel lyk hiding one corner and cry... haiz... i cant fail my science paper... i nid science for my course... haiz...

Moody

haiz... lock myself in my room... haiz... i felt so upset... i didnt noe wad to do... am i in the wrong when i was trying to protect her from being bully by her friends... haiz... whenever i saw her being bully... i will haf a heartache... why cant she juz understand mi... why muz it always be guys to understand girls and why cant girls understand guys for once... haiz.... i try to protect her and she ignore mi... she dun wan to tell mi wad had happen but she tell her friends who bully her... WTH... haiz... i guess dawn was right... for the past few month was only our honeymoon time... after tt will haf problems... haiz... all i can do is to go to youth hub... play pool, play guitar and emo... haiz... u say u understand mi... but i dun think so... haiz...

A Short Story For The Past Few Days

learning guitar for 9 days and i had my showcase for my vocal lesson on the 22/08/07... did pretty except my voice going off key due to my flu and sore throat... my very own song i sang... and this is the first song and first showcase i had... haha... title of the song... i think for so long and i dun noe which one to choose... should i name it ALONE or ABOUT MY LIFE??? PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!! haha... while learning my own song... Joshua from youth hub teach mi 5 more songs... haha... i had finally finish learning two songs... 3 more songs to go... haha... went to school today at 7.30 and i start doing my coursework for hours... till 4... first time i do non stop sia... haha... went home and get change and go bukit panjang for lion dance lesson... do nth but looking... next week den will start learning... haha... i suddenly want to learn a lot of things... haha...
1. Guitar
2. In-line Skate
3. Lion Dance
4. More Function On Computer
5. Fashion
6. Drama
7. Dance
8. Piano
haha... will be going to Malaysia tml... sian... go there do nth sia... haiz...

New Blog

hello... open new blog... still nt done with all the editing... lazy to do and no time to do... haha... will nt post everyday which i used to... haha... today is the release of the o lvl MT mid year result... haiz... saw a lot of sad faces more den happy faces... today is also my late friend birthday... kenneth koh shi rong... haiz... miss him... haiz... after school... go home get change and go youth hub... teach more things... haha...